We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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