can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
