I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
