can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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