Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
