i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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