just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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