I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
