You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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