Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
