I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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