I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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