I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
