So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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