If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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