Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
