needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
