I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize