Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
