David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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