I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
