I can't watch pbs sober anymore
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
