You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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