I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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