just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
