he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
