The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
