you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
