I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
