Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
