Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
