IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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