Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
