i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
