I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
