Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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