When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
are you so shy because you have an std?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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