Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
