Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
