Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
