God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
This baby is an asshole
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
