Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
