Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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