sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
