he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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