Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
