WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
