maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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