I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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