Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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