I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
